Two Face Harry

Spot the similarity between Harry Redknapp and Catdog.

Yes, you see, Catdog has two faces. One of a cat and one of a dog. So does Harry. It can be hard to see how when those million chins are sagging that badly.

Harry O' Hairy.. You said, "It's a big opportunity to manage a big club before I retire," and you are absolutely right. To manage a team sitting last in the relegation zone is indeed a big opportunity. You claimed that you "followed Tottenham, trained there as an 11-year-old, 12-year-old and knows the history of the club. It is a big, big, club."

You know, many people went to Jail countless times, was raped by inmates as a 31-year old, 32-year old and knows even the blardi employment history of the HR department of the Jail. It is a big big Jail -they hate to do area cleaning each day.

'Tottenham have offered Portsmouth £5m compensation, which is good for the club, and if we're all being honest it has worked out okay for everybody." Can you believe it? £5m for Harry O' Hairy! Daniel Levy can soon start a new drama serial, "Desperate Club Owners", co-starring Daniel Levy and Mike Ashley, owner of Newcastle Football Club. Daniel, you just paid £5m for a catdog hybrid. Congratulations on your exotic find.

Hairy O' Hairy (i know its Harry O' Hairy but heck), you are no lower than a cheating husband. You left abrubtly in 2004 and shamelessly bedded arch rivals, Southampton till you adulterous couple were condemned to relegation. And when all the sex and fun were over, returned to Portsmouth. But your promiscuous desires were hardly suppressed with lecherous eyes fixated on Newcastle at one point .

By the way, lets set the record straight. While you had apparently declined the job, stating "I have a job to do to take this club forward and to walk away would not have been the right thing to do." It was later stated by Newcastle chairman that you were "interviewed for the job but was only one of a number of people we were speaking to at that time", and at the time of your interview, the club had already been in secret talks with the eventual appointee, Kevin Keegan for a week. In other words, you are just a damn PROP for a stand up show.

Hairy O' U' Hairy Hairy! Your shameless exploits know no end - telling BBC Radio Five Live: "If Portsmouth want to sell some of their players, there's an open market."

And if Spurs want to sell their manager, there is an open market at Dolphin Lagoon. Cos like the toothed whales, you have no sense of smell since your car wreckage in year 1990, except while the dolphins will provide the stunts, you can do the freakshow. RawRs!!

Run, son, Run!! Freakshow O' Hairy is clawing here!!